Thursday, November 18, 2010

How to rescue a damsel in distress series

Salutations dear readers, summer is finally upon us and as the temperature rises and the humidity goes pass 80%. There will more and more damsels in distress because they are outside and in the open air. So what can a man do this summer to prepare himself to rescue a damsel in distress. So welcome to the Summer survial guide series of According to Truong. In this series I would like to write about what are essentials a man needs this summer, to be that man who can save the day. Over the next few weeks be prepared and get ready to understand why McGyver was such a ladies man. Stephen ZENG who sits at this location-33.877080, 151.210823 this is going to be super man-ly after reading this I can guarantee you'll have a thick and glossy beard.

Topic 1. Summer road trip to Far north Queensland.

Lets place ourselves in the situation, two young guys looking for adventure. Driving in a used commodore or camry towards Cairns or Townsville. The temperature is shooting pass 35 degrees and the humidity is unbearable. Over the past 15 hours from Sydney you have probably been wondering why did you go on this trip, where you could be at home playing Assasin's creed.
Well the temperature is unbearable now and your travelling at 110km/h and it's late afternoon and you really want to go for a swim. But as you are roaring off the highway into a remote beach, whilst driving through the lush vegetation, the sweet sea breeze filing your lungs with exciting, you put your board shorts on in the car in anticipation of the cool water. You notice a damsel in distress through the lens of your polarised sunglasses. She and her female companions have parked their car on an uphill section and they are just looking at the billowing white smoke coming out of her car.
Well what are you going to do in this situation? Keep driving? or stop and try to help

Well this is going to be interesting if you stop you will need tools and this next section I will help you prepare yourself and be like McGyver to be that hero who can save that damsel in distress. Or in this situation a school of Damsels.

Rightio, lets start here you have now pulled over with your friend, so the damsels are already confident there is nothing fishy here. Your wearing board shorts and a smell faintly of Oasis coconut flavour ice tea, you're wearing a XXXX or bundy rum t-shirt becauseyou don't want to get busted up by the locals when travelling in far north Queensland. With all this apparel they can relax and accept your help because they now know you're not like that Wolf Creek serial killer guy.

Step 1. Be confident
Speak clearly and slowly. Damsels in distress are generally people of the sanguine nature and will probably be very emotional. Offer her an Oasis Ice tea and say. It looks like the car is just over heating, it's a small problem and happens all the time it shouldn't be hard to fix right here on the spot. I'll see what my mate and I can do.

Step 2. Examine the problem
Now that you have the situation under control have look around the engine bay, you will notice that the radiator hose, that runs from the radiator to the engine has a small crack in it. Big bummer. This is a common problem with sanguine women who don't have much knowledge of cars and servicing. Generally rubber hoses break in more frequently in summer due to the extremes of temperatures and general usage.
" Now stay calm, and ask how's that Ice tea, it's my favourite" When you have a question and reply in one sentence it really spins girls out because it will put them in a more relax mood some how.

Step 3. Produce the goods.
Firstly, you will need a the ever dependable Leatherman, probably the best and coolest multi tool all men should have. Secondly, on road trips carry extra water, roughly 5 litres and always try to keep it that way. Thirdly, always keep some sikaflex in the boot it's a multi-purpose sealer. Too easy hey if you can't find any sikaflex use chewing gum. Do you have electrical tape? well get some now. Sorry lads this is the painful bit, you will have to cut some of your rubber off your thongs to help her out, because no way on earth she is going to give you any of hers so don't bother asking. Guess you'll have to survive barefoot for a while. Ouch hot sand.

Step 4 Can you fix it, Ofcourse you can.
She is probably smiling and admiring you now so don't blow it. Firstly you will have to wait till the radiator cools down but if there is a huge leak and lots of green or pink fluid is pouring out work quick. Firstly, get your beach towel cover the radiator cap so you can open it to release pressure. If you don't have a towel your going to get heaps of vapourise coolant all over, not smooth. If you are lucky and the the crack is near the end of the hose undo the clamps and cut that section off with your leatherman, and then crimp it back on with the Leatherman pliers. If not take off the hose use the rubber seal it, tape it.
Once everything is in place, fill up the reserve radiator bottle with water, clean water is best then turn the car on, with the hot air setting on the temperature setting. Then turn on the interior fan on full blast to run the new water through. Slowly add more water into the main radiator and let it run. It should be sweet now all you have do is say "We'll have another look to see if there is anything else wrong!Have a quick look around the car and check tyre pressure, then take the car for a little drive to ensure everything is running. Remember team work with your mate because you can't be a grass cutter and not share the glory.

Step5 Be gallant.
This is brill ant opportunity to ask them all if they need any more help, and invite them for a swim, because the car will have to cool down. So sit back and enjoy Oasis ice tea, coconut flavour is the one to go for.

In summary. Buy a leatherman (thanks Lucy for my one) or ask for one this Christmas "I chose you Leatherman Wave", buy marine grade Sikaflex, buy electrical tape and be the man or men remember team work. Well I have really enjoyed writing this piece about summer trips and damsels in distress. I hope you can join me again soon for more summer adventure in the According to Truong, summer survival series.

Gosh, Sydney weather has become so unpredictable but since I am confident it is going to be sunny and bright I am advising killing 2 birds with one stone this weekend. If you're looking for Christmas presents or you're helping to choose presents, why not head down to Berry and head to the cool looking Coo Coo clock shop I don't really know the name but they sell very interesting stuff. They have various presents and everyone will happy. Not only get all your Christmas shopping done in one shop, but you can go for a swim and eat fresh seafood in Kiama on the way back. Followed by a drink at the Jamberoo inn i really like this inn for it's charm and personality, plus i have never tried to the food so please someone, report back. Oh and if you forgot a present and wanted something handmade, drive up to the Benedictine monastery up to the hill, to the left. Deo Gratias

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Spring fashion Review 3

Well it's been a rain drenched week, and how wonderful is this rain! I just love the sound of rain either softly or lightly falling on the roof of the colorbond carport. It's gives you the sense of regularity and puts you to bed in less than 10mins. Its been a while since I could remember such rain, since the mid 1990's me thinks? when I was an annoying asian ankle bitter, I could remember putting paper boats down the kerb side and see it slowly drift to sea via our stormwater systems. I wonder where all those boats sailed to? Could it be Vietnam or even as far as Madagascar. Well I hope everyone out there has had a productive week and all smooth sailing with our fair trade winds, oh and this month of November we remember all our deceased, especially our loved ones, our soildiers who have fought in numerous wars for freedom and all those who have died with no one to remember them . Requiescat in pace

In this next installment of according to Truong spring fashion review I would like to incorporate wet weather fashion. I have been catching the train lately to work and it's a horror story for my post surgery ankle, each and every surface presents an adventure and being Truong, I love adventure.
Well lets start at why I really hate umbrellas and the mass usuage of uncessary, useless, umerous,under-rated,utterly irritating Umbrellas.

Firstly, in Sydney where we are trying so hard to be So called environmentally friendly, we are buying these cheap and nasty umbrellas which require massive resources to make to keep our head dry. Not only most of them are made in China, they only last a few weeks and people discard them all over the place. They are an eyesore and a waste of money, resources and makes our beloved city look cheap and plastic.

So how do you dress for wet weather? Ladies first of course, beauty before brain and brawn. I have always been a believer of the coat! Ladies should wear the spring weight cotton version by various brands out there, but I insist investing a high quality English made one if the price is too high try European or Australian made or even Korean, but never chinese because you want to make an investment not waste your money. They are light weight and the styling on these coats will suit any outfit, go for the double brested red or creams because they will enhance the waist line of any woman once the straps are done up. I prefer lapels as well.

If coats are not your thing, the a leather jacket, full grain lamb is the way to go. It is water proof and the look is to die for. Buying something that comes in black, red, dark brown will be suitiable. It is easy to choose the colour here, if your 30 or under red is the colour of choice, if your over 30 brown or black is the way to go here. Easy.
Next how do you keep your hair dry from all this weather if your a lady? Well thats really easy, there are soo many hat shops our there. Generally wool or felt hats will go nicely, please choose hats in red to white spectrum of the colour rainbow. You can choose from a variety of hats, but I have always been a fan of small hats on ladies with a small brim> please see attached.

Oh, I almost forgot I am always hearing "my feet are cold and my socks are wet", could you turn your car heater to the foot flow function. I really hate when this happens because not only does it fogs the windscreen, it also makes me feet really hot and it's super annoying, but like always beauty before safety. So there it a solution please please stop your complains because there is such an easy solution here. Go and buy new boots, yes Truong is giving all the ladies out there to go shoe shopping. Sorry lads but sometimes it is a necessary occasion of shopping here, you must go and help buy wool lined boots with a slight heal,tightly fitted toe and a sole that can be re-sole as time passes by. I have seem many beautiful boots out there, buy ones made in Europe because they are the best. Furthermore, leather gets better as time goes by and it gives your man out there a job of keeping them polished and watertight. I suggest using KIWI brand, but I know other people out there like using Dubbin, cough cough Chris.

Now moving onto the lads, we lads are easy, simply buy a gortex jacket, or leather jacket, or simply get wet. Cover your head with a cap, hat or get wet. Wear shoes made of leather and socks. Remember to always polish your leather boots or they won't be water proof for long. So easy. Lets move on to this week's review of Review.

Formal wear Gracie Lace dress for that super ultra 4000CmsT date.

So it's the end of the year almost, and you being a man-man like the old spice guy you want to do the right thing by your girlfriend, or someone you have been admiring for a while. You decide to spend up big and buy tickets to "Noel" peformed by the Sydney Philharmonia or it's the fancy Christmas dinner or even the Society Ball. Wow this is the big date, and if you have been reading my blog over the last few months you have been Crystal clear about asking that one girl out on a date.

Well ladies now please accept because Truong is feeling gracious today because he is allowing you to go shopping for that end of year dress. Being Truong he hates shopping but according this blog it is a necessary occasion of shopping. Well lets start.

Gracie lace dress by review, why do I like this dress? Well just look at the colour its just magnificent it's like a beautiful Don Perignon Champagne or that lovely 1960's Gullwing Merc. It just screams class and elegance. All I can if ladies are dress like this, they will sure be treated like a Spanish princess.

Now onto the fitting, it graciously fit the lines of the body and it gives the user the choice of wearing a long jacket or coat if it rains, or simply a light weight woollen jacket so you can burden the man to carry it on your long walk back to the Sydney Opera house car park, or you have been a tight you've parked in the rocks where there is limited free parking.

Finally, with such a beautiful piece all i can say don't wear belts or over do the accessory because this one unit is a stand alone and it meant to be that way.

I hoped that everyone has had a lovely time reading this blog and that your weekend if filled with super fun enjoyment. Now your wondering why Truong is so hyped up about rain, well there is so much fun to be had when it rains because you can do indoor activities, and since I have been advocating shopping maybe it's time to take your lady friend on a shopping date. Sorry lads but it a shopping weekend indoors with savoury pancakes, eggs Benedict, smoked trout, followed by cucumber sandwiches, earl grey tea, followed by more eating slow roasted lamb with a glass of port.
I'll place my order of bangers and mash with dark Ale! Deo gratias