Thursday, July 8, 2010

Girl, date, ring what next?

Attention to all the ladies that might have a secret crush on me, including Osman I know you love me! I have to apologise and say that you all missed out, because I am engaged and soon to be wed.

Sufferin' succotash! What a busy week, all I can say is when winter comes round the bees and bears are hibernating while us humans are left suffering in this wet and miserable weather. Sometimes I wonder why we aren't rugged up all day. By golly this week has flew by and there has been SO many twists and turns in a young man's life. Oh Lord, do we run from the week or do we catch up to it. So without delay I am honoured to bring to you this week's According to Truong.

There comes a stage in a man's life where he eats his owns words and goes Doh I've made a mistake. So here it is, you have the girls of your dreams, then you bust your knuckles and trade in your bike boots, riding gear and riding leathers for a shiny piece of bling for your lady love. But what's next? It doesn't stop there, have you ever thought about a roof over your head?
In this modern word, where money and brain power provides shelter, good looking and physically superior males are left scratching their heads. So here are some of my views on this modern phenomena. It was only less than 200 years ago, when the strong and brave could be granted lands and titles returning from glorious battles for their loyal service to the King. Before that, the strongest chieftains and his warriors raided fertile lands and built ancient kingdoms. If you can place yourself back to cavemen times, the strongest would find the best caves with easy access to food and water. Now, you ask why is this important to us as humans in this modern world?

Up to this point in time, the strongest have been able to pass on their genetic material to the prettiest females, however living in a city like Sydney. It seems for the last 50 years the smarter males have been able to pass on their genetic material, who knows what consequences this might have, maybe Australians won't qualified for the World cup anymore. This in turn has placed a bottle neck on the so called "Alpha males". But if your one of those Alpha males left in this urban environment don't despair because their a number of ways for you to find your potential lifelong mate and still have a splendid cave.

Option number 1, If you want to live in Sydney, don't be picking and live in a area beyond your financial means. The main reason for this, is that you'll will lose your physical prowess because you won't have enough money to buy T-Bone steaks. Secondly, a female companion always looks favourably on a male who has his own cave, so if you have one she'll be more than happy to be your lifelong companion.

Option number 2, If your a young lady still looking for your male, a great place to look for these males are on coastal towns with a seasonal fishing trade. In these towns, men usually work for 6-8 months a year earning a considerable amount of money. It might be hard at first to move into these towns but this is where you'll find hard working alpha males who haven't lost their sense of manliness.

Option number 3, If you have no money at all, but your extremely hardworking you can be savvy and use your muscles to build your own home in areas where councils are giving away parcels of land for men who are willing to stay on. But remember to buy 2 pairs of boots, one land boot and one pair for Church, country dances, and country rodeos.

In summation, though the outlook is bleak if we as men, are left with no apparent heirs in this modern world, where money comes from trading stocks that aren't actually there, or in using ones money to make more money from others money. There is still a chance to push forward, marching tall and gallant through it all to proclaim that the warrior class has not faded away in this modern world of sissyness.

The outlook for Sydney this weekend is going to be a wet one, combined with the cold air and smelly air conditioning it's best to go and clear out your alveoli with a nice drive down the sound coast. On these long drives it would be nice to listen to Crowded house, or the Lord of the Rings soundtrack, followed by a large bundle of fish and chips at Jim's Fish Cafe Thirroul, follow a by a swim by the near by beach to show the sea who is the man!.

So i am encouraging everyone to get a mosey down to the south coast, even as far as Manyana, where I've heard they have miniature bananas that taste like violet crumble. But if a car is no where to be seen and you still want to make the trip there is always the train. This is a great idea if your planning a date. So don't hesitate to sit close, and explore the landscape together with Red Rock deli crisps, or Burger Men because you can talk till the cows come home. There will be a time. when your date will nod off, because waves make girls sleepy, when this happens give her your shoulder, PS remember to wear a puffy jacket so that shoulder will be as soft as duck down.
With great delight, I'll put my pen down, or in this age take my fingers of the keyboard and tap no more and thank you the readers for another week of According to Truong.

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